What’s life without laughter? In the midst of hectic routines, tons of project and backbreaking workload, engineers do deserve a break. And what better way than to laugh with your fellow engineers.
Recently, a post on Quora asking for the best engineering jokes has attracted thousands of responses, out of which we have selected only the best. Have a look!
1. Only a software engineer will laugh like crazy!
A biologist, physicist, mathematician, and a software engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep.Said the biologist, “Interesting that sheep in Scotland are black?”
“No,” objected the physicist, “we can say only that just some sheep in Scotland are black.”
“You guys jump to conclusions too fast,” said the mathematician, “All we can say is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland which appears to be black on at least on side.”
“Oh no,” groaned the software engineer, “Not another special case!”
2. You just got jokes, ain’t you?
It should be noted that no ethically trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. ‘Basic professional ethics’ would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a ‘parameter.’
3. When you take programming too seriously
A wife asks her husband, a software engineer… “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!” A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, “Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?” He replied, “They had eggs.”
4. What’s an engineer’s favorite pastime hobby? Ripping on arts’ majors, of course!
The graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”The graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”The graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”The graduate with an arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”
5. Keep adding the gizmos until you are broke!
Normal people don’t understand this concept; they believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.
– The Dilbert Principle (1996)
6. Why do Mechanical Engineers even get a degree? Just sell them a handbook, and they are ready to go!
There was a guy who wanted to know how to calculate the volume of a red rubber ball. He first took it to a mathematician, who measured its radius and used the formula V=4/3*pi*r^3 to find it’s volume.
Next, our man went to a physicist, who immersed the ball in a bowl full of water. He then measured the amount of water which overflowed and calculated the volume of the ball.
Still not satisfied, our man takes the ball to a mechanical engineer. The engineer says, “Wait a moment, I got this.” He gets up and skims through the books laid out on his shelf. “Ah, this should do it.”, he says and pulls out a big fat hard bound book titled – “The Mechanical Engineer’s Handbook to Red Rubber Balls”
7. These are reasonably accurate analogies to the real laws
Zeroth law of thermodynamics: There is shit
First law of thermodynamics: You can’t get rid of it
Second law of thermodynamics: It only gets deeper
Third law of thermodynamics: A nice empty ‘shit can’ will never happen.
8. What’s a top ten joke list without a Knock, Knock joke
Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting coefficient of friction. Interrupting coefficient of fri…. mmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (?)By Navin Kabra
9. Once a petrol head, always a petrol head!
A mechanical engineer went to police station for
filing report for his missing wife:Engineer: I lost my wife (misty), she went for shopping and still not reached home yet. Inspector: What is her height?
Engineer: I never noticed.
Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Engineer: Not slim can be healthy.
Inspector: Color of eyes?
Engineer: Never noticed.
Inspector: Color of hair?
Engineer: Changes according to season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Engineer: Saree/suit/ I don’t remember exactly!
Inspector: Was she going in a car?
Engineer: Yes!
Inspector : Tell me the number, name and color of the car.
Engineer: Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 liter V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door, the engineer states while sobbing
Inspector: Lets search for the car.By Navin Kabra
10. Engineers and romance are as improbable as two parallel lines intersecting each other!
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.”Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter?I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.”
Do you also have some good engineering jokes? Comment below!