US Troops Will Still Have To Wait To Eat Pizza On The Battlefield

pizza Pentagon

Since 2013, the Pentagon has been trying tooth and nail to develop a pizza-based Meal, Ready-to-Eat (MRE) that can last the requisite three years which all US military rations must do. The tried and failed attempts have been coming thick and fast, and have been hyped up with equal intensity by a host of media outlets such as the BBC, Business Insider, Mediaite and Mental Floss.

A Defense Department official told the media at the time,

“Pizza is the holy grail of MREs. because for decades, people have been asking for this.”

Developing a long living pizza and other bread products are considered to be a “culinary Herculean task,” since the bread can quickly get stale and soggy, perfect conditions for the dreaded mold. The scientists at the Pentagon claimed to figure out to use ingredients like sugar, salt, and syrups – called humectants – that bound the water and the dough together. They also changed the pH value of the pizza, making them less prone to an attack by the bacteria and oxygen while keeping them in an oxygen-free packaging.

Everyone was all pumped up and hopeful that the men and women on the battlefield will finally be able to enjoy a close variant of pizza, and a post from user RockyRaab on the MREinfo forum even said

“that darn meal has been in ‘development’ for so long, it’s hard to believe it may finally be fielded.”

Despite their best efforts, the Defense News reports that the damn pizzas have turned brown within days, let alone years meaning they too are unfit for MRE classification. The pizza slices were staged to be debuted in 2018, and they were being placed in a 100-degree environment for six months that is somehow equivalent to the passage of three years for food. But the pizza failed to meet up to people’s expectations, and both the cheese and pepperoni varieties of the MRE suffered discoloration and turned brown.

Deputy director of the Pentagon’s Combat Feeding Directorate, Jeremy Whitsitt, spoke to Defense News saying that the pizzas aren’t unsafe for human consumption, but they look weird and gross, thus won’t be shipped out to the soldiers yet.

So that four years of R&D and manufactured hype going down the drain! Brilliant news for the taxpayers!

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