Programmer Automates His Job Completely By Writing A Script


You can be all sorts of lazy, but you can not be the kind of lazy who automates his work. This programmer wrote scripts to automate every task that he couldn’t bother to complete himself.

A programmer Nihad Abbasov, known as ‘Narkoz,’ shared a project on GitHub containing hilarious scripts with very NSFW words. The scripts, however, were not his own. The code was written by his co-worker who had left the job for another company. Narkoz describes his ex-co-worker as,

“There was a programmer who left for another company, the type of guy that if something — anything — requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.”

The funny part about the snippets is not the inappropriate names which he used. In fact, it was the kind of purpose which the codes served. After the guy had left the job, his coworkers looked through his work to discover the codes that not only included automating some parts of his job but also texted his wife and made coffee.

One of the scripts sends his wife a text message saying, ‘late at work’ and automatically picks a reason from a list. If there were any activity at his login on the company’s computer after 9 p.m, the code would send a text message automatically.

Another script would write his boss an email to excuse him from work if he had not logged into the company’s server by 8:45 am. The script called ‘Hangover’ wrote things like ‘not feeling well, working from home,’ ‘got food poisoning’ to be sent to his boss as a text message.

Here comes the work automation part. To get rid of a customer that he did not like; he wrote a script that scanned his inbox for emails from the customer. If it uses words asking for help, like ‘trouble,’ ‘sorry’ or anything of the sort, the system automatically puts the database of the client to the backup and sends a reply saying, “No worries mate, be careful next time.”

The best one of his scripts is a code that orders the office machine to brew coffee. The code waits 17 seconds before it orders the coffee machine to brew a latte. Once done, it waits 24 seconds before pouring the coffee into the mug. Why 24 seconds? Because that period is precisely the time, it took him to get from his table to the coffee machine. Oh! Such a time saver for such redundant work. Interestingly, no other worker even knew that the coffee machine was on the company’s network.

If you are going to be proud of your laziness, you need to be as cool as this guy.

Do you plan to automate your routine tasks as well? Comment below!

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