Ah, movies. Such a great time pass and way to enjoy your free time. In a way these movies help us visualize how we would be in our mundane day-to-day life and thus bring some flavor to boring life. Where does the problem start? The problem begins when movies tend to ignore how the basic things work. For instance, computers. Apparently, the seemingly crappy computer in our room would be able to perform miraculous tasks if it starred in a movie. Here’s a list of things a computer can do in a movie (and only in a movie).
1. Word processors don’t have a cursor.
2. Space-bar becomes irrelevant when you’re typing long sentences.
3. Movie characters do not make typing mistakes.
4. All monitors display inch-high letters.
5. Easy to understand and graphical interfaces are used by high-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA or some such governmental institution.
6. The ones that don’t feature graphical interface shall have such a powerful text-based command shell that commands in plain English would be executed as well.
7. You can access any information by simply typing ‘Access The Secret Files’ on any keyboard.
8. A computer can be infected with a destructive virus by simply typing ‘Upload Virus’. (See ‘Fortress.’)
9. All of the computers are connected, and you can access the information on the villain’s desktop computer even if it’s not turned on.
10. Most of the powerful computers beep whenever a key is pressed or the screen changes. A few of them will even alter the speed of output to make it go slow enough so that you can read it. Some super advanced computer even make the sound of a dot-matrix printer.
11. All of the computer panels are working on thousands of volts and feature explosive devices beneath their surface. Any kind of malfunction is indicated via bright light flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks followed by an explosion.
12. Those who are typing on the computer can safely turn it off without saving data.
13. A hacker can break into the most sensitive computer in the world by successfully guessing the secret password in two attempts.
14. You may bypass ‘Permission Denied’ message by using the ‘Override’ function. (See ‘Demolition Man.’)
15. Computers only take 2 seconds to boot up.
16. Complex calculations and downloading/uploading huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds.
17. When the power plant/missile site/main computer overheats, all control panels will explode shortly before the entire building will.
18. When you’re displaying a file on the screen it will disappear from the screen if someone deletes it. (See ‘Clear and Present Danger’).
19. You’re asked for a password automatically upon inserting a disk with encrypted files.
20. Computers are capable of interfacing with any kind of second computer totally disregarding the manufacturer (or galaxy for that matter). (See ‘Independence Day’.)
21. Computer disks will work on any computer that has a floppy drive and all software is usable on any platforms.
22. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it will have (See ‘Aliens.’)
23. High-tech computers have no labels on buttons except for the ‘Self-Destruct’ button.
24. Most computers, no matter how miniaturized, have reality-defying three-dimensional active animation, photo-realistic graphics capabilities.
25. Laptops always have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and performance similar to a CRAY Supercomputer.
26. Whenever a character looks at a monitor, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto their face. (See ‘Alien’ or ‘2001.’)
27. Your search on the Internet can be as vague as you want it to be, and yet you will get the required result. (See ‘Mission Impossible.’)